Shift your thoughts, shift your relationship

For much of my life, I didn’t how significant of a role my mind played in creating my experience.

I knew about affirmations, the law of attraction, and the benefits of journaling to sort out my thoughts.

However, nobody ever taught me that not all the thoughts my brain offers me are true.

Or rather, I can decide which thoughts I want to believe.

Why is this significant?

Because there are times (especially when thinking about people we are in relationships with) when certain thoughts are more helpful than others.

Not all our thoughts support what our hearts truly want, connection.

Considering that connection is a primary need in a relationship, which thoughts could you direct your mind to that would support that connection?

It’s certainly not going to be…

If (s)he loved me then…

He should…

If only they would…

We are constantly comparing who someone is to whom we think they should be.

Can you imagine your loved one doing the same to you?

Would those comparisons hurt or hinder your relationship?

So what do we do with the influx of unhelpful thoughts in our minds?

I would like to suggest, be aware of them and have compassion.

The next time you are stewing or ruminating about a problem with your loved one, without judgment write it out. Don’t try and positively think your way out of it either.

It's okay to hold space for the thoughts to be there so that you can question them.

In questioning them I mean,

Are they true?

Are they helpful?

Do these thoughts support my relationship?

Believe it or not, they are there for a reason. Many times the thoughts that cause negative emotions are an opportunity to heal something in ourselves.

I will leave you with these questions to ponder…

What if people come into our lives for a reason?

How might your relationships be if you asked yourself why this person is in your life?

What could this person be teaching you?

What is the purpose of your relationship?

xxx alyssa